Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Just a little tuesday babbling

We had a great BBQ on Sunday. Very relaxed, and good food. Kyle and I were both a wee bit upset that our pork didn't come out right. I think we had the heat to high. My shoulder had to be chopped, it just wasn't pullable. And his ribs, while tasty, we not falling off the bone. Oh well, I don't think the guests complained.

Monday we biked about 13 miles on the C&O canal trail. It was real easy. I like rides like that. I can only do about 5 miles in our neighborhood, but did 15 miles without complaining. We went from Carderock up to Swain's Boathouse and back. The view near Great Falls was incrediable. Someday, I'd like to bike the whole thing. Its traditionally a 3 day trip, with stops in Hancock and Harpers Ferry. I think their are hotels along the route, which means I could possibly deal with my shower issues. Showers are the reason I haven't been backpacking - ever. Despite my desire to go, I just can't bring myself to go a couple days with showers and toilets. Call me a girly girl, but I like to sit, not squat.

Speaking of squat - its the age old question for southern's (or at least East TN/Western NC folks). Do you know what? Diddly Squat! I had friends in college who said that should be "Diddly Butt" b/c butt rhymes with what. I just can't see it.

I haven't checked my HD email list in 2 weeks. Longest I've been yet. Ignoring it for the time being and moving on with life. Just checked back in and reading the chemo brain discussions. Thats one thing definitely still affecting me (since its gotten warmer, Rayuand's has gone away). And is affecting the already not so great verbal part of my brain. I've always been the math & science geek. You know the type, could park an 18-wheeler between my math and verbal SATs. GREs were about the same. Actually, my vebal GRE score was exactly the same as my SAT. I'm not sure what that means - but it intrigued me. Guess my verbal skills improved exactly as expected through school. Anyway.. point.. I have one. Or I had one... it just slipped my brain.

Now on to the interviewing.. I forgot, I was supposed to post the rules. *blush* So, late, but here they are:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


Now, I will interview Rachel
1. Who do you most admire and why?
2. Do you have any regrets? If so, how would you change the event/choice?
3. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
4. If you could be an animal, what would you be and why?
5. What are your top three reads?
5.5. Does Mo want to be a ring boy?

Oh.. I remembered my point - I keep forgetting the word or losing my train of thought completely. Its the old thing about it being on the tip of your tongue, but I can't find it. And is getting seriously noticable. At least to me. It may sound a bit conceited, but I feel like I've dropped 10 IQ points. Its very frustrating. And it scares me, since I always harbored notions of a PhD. I can't think on the spot anymore. How on earth would I pass prelims?!? Of course, I have a nice job now with no plans on going anywhere. So its a moot point. But...

Friday, May 27, 2005

The sun is out!

Seems like the first time in a week. Plus I am home before 5 and a long weekend. Simple pleasures.

Around 3pm, I went to ask my coworker a question. He sits caddy-corner to me, and I think I walked by his cube about 14 times prior to this. I also have on a bright pink shirt. He had to do a double take because he didn't know I was in today. Plus he was the "acting" boss as the office was empty due to the holiday on Monday. And to think I could have stayed home and no one would have know the difference. LOL

Ok, on to my interview from Rae

1. What three words would you choose to describe your personality?
friendly
sacrastic
moody

2. What do you consider your biggest accomplishment and why?
getting my grad degree. At the time, I was at a turning point in life, and I could have gone several way. I questioned my choices, as I was looking at a rather nice job offer in Philly. But I decided to be a broke grad student instead. Best thing for me. The dot.com bubble burst while I was in grad school, so software would have NOT been the place to be. And while I was there, I had a lot of personal stuff going on - mainly revolving around the guy I was sure I would marry running off to Texas with someone else. Not a happy time mentally. So getting through grad school was the best thing I ever did for myself! Primarily because it was the first thing I can truely said I did for myself. So many other things I had done up til then were based on other people, i.e. college was just expected, went out of state to get away from mom, took first job b/c it was all that was offered, moved to Lynchburg for said Texas guy. I did that for me!

so how many folks were expecting something about surviving cancer? I don't consider that an acomplishment of mine. It was something I went through, and something that happened to me. But the accomplishment was all science.


3. What do you consider the most important factor in a relationship and why?
Communication. You must have good communication and be able to talk about things. Its not always plesant, but if you don't communicate things get bottled up until they explode in one form or another - be it a big blow out or even phsyical symptoms. Thats not always to say I/we are the best communicators. But we try. And that, I believe, is important. I've seen what happens when you can't communicate how you are feeling.

And communication is a two way street. Its not just telling someone else what is going on or how you feel. The other member of the relationship must listen and process what is said. Without both parts of communication - you just have talking and tuning out. That will never work.

4. Who is your role model?
My co-worker, K. I want to be her in a few years. We just click on so many things. She gives me advice when I need it. And she showed me that some of the "expectations" in life are really choices - choices that you are allowed to say no to.

5. Describe a time when your parents/partner really embarrassed you.
Truthfully - I tend to embarass myself more than anyone embrasses me. I talk to much. So anyway...
Parents: most of my teenage years, just simply being parents and me being a teen. Although I would say the worst (at the time) was Dad making me go to the dump with him in the Big Blue Beast Truck. It was mortifying to drive around our small town in that baby blue rust bucket. I just could NOT be seen in it. So I put a paper bag over my head while in the passenger seat. Funniest damn thing now.
Partner: Had a few too many glasses of wine on an empty stomach at a wedding.

That was fun! Anyone else want to be interviewed? Leave me a comment saying "interview me" and I'll give you 5 questions for you to answer in your blog!

Monday, May 23, 2005

Five months from today

Five months from now I will be married. Actually, 4 months, 30 day, and 16 hours.

13 years ago this month, this was us.



Here are a couple more recent shots






I've never been much for the cheese factor. Kyle is definitely the romantical one. He writes such sweet things and says such wonderful things. Makes me blush and get all flustered. But hopefully he knows I feel that way too. And I can't wait to marry him! Its been a long time coming, and who knew life would turn out how it did. But you know, sometimes the best is really yet to come, and I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. I'm a strong believer in fate - and fate is what had us both move to the DC area in September, 2001. A little help from his brother brough us together - but its funny how fate works.

I'm going to try to cheese a bit. Or at least give you some history...

August, 1991 - I saw this gorgeous blond sophmore with a saxaphone across the band room. I turned to Joey and asked "Who is that guy? I want him!" Joey laughed and said "That's E's brother." I replies "So? I want him." (give me a break, I was in high school!)

Sept 25, 1991 - I plotted with his best friend to throw him a surprise 16th birthday party. I'm not sure he got the hint.

Early October, 1991 - A bunch of us were over at his house (his parent's had the cool basement). Everyone was heading home. I left, he pretended to go to bed, then I came back and picked him up (Note to his folks - the statue of limitations ran out long ago LOL) and we went out to the tressel. Cool, clear October night, we walked out over the lake and just stared at the stars.

October 23 (?), 1991 - Called E at college to wish him a happy birthday. His future wife was in the room LOL Talking with E, he told me I could NOT date his brother, it would make him puke.

October 26, 1991 - We were running around that night, and went to go see if Joe wanted to to anything. Joey was asleep (it was only about 10pm). So we threw rocks at his window. It failed. Then we had our first kiss, right there, on Joe's lawn. And Kyle uttered the MOST romantic words ever "So, you wanna make E puke?" And in that sweet, high school way, we were officially a couple.

la la la... I'm too lazy to type. But suffice to say it was a wonderful senior year.

August 1992 - I head of to Virginia Tech. The beggining of the end. Like all hopelessly romantic first love couples, we tried to make it work. But who were we kidding, I was a freshman, he was a junior in high school 4 hours away. I went home lots of weekend, and I went to visit quite a few weekends too when no one but Kyle knew I was there.

March 1993 - Went home for spring break. Kyle told me his mom didn't want me working at the family store anymore. Dude - I got fired! (for the record, I have since cleared this up with his mom - no, she had no clue I was fired)

May 1993 - I came home from college, and got dumped within 2 hours of setting foot in Oak Ridge. I'll spare you the details, but to this day I can't eat at Fazoli's. Squeek brought us breadsticks.

1993-1994 - We still hung out occasionally. Went to a couple concerts together, including a road trip from TN to DC to see Pink Floyd where I was convinced I would win him back. No dice... He was quite dedicated to Squeek.

1994-1996-ish - I moved on, dated around, would stop buy and visit the family store in the mall every time I was in town, just to say hi.

1996-2001- The store shut down, I lost all contact with him. Lived with a guy, contemplated marriage a time or two. Basically, forgot about him.

May 2001 - I was finishing up grad school, packing up and getting ready to move. I was digging through some old pictures with my roomie (Dammit), and I pulled out a very old picture of Kyle. (I apologize in advance to any ex of mine who might happen to read this) I told Dammit that he was the best looking guy I ever dated, and how I felt more connected to him that anyone else. Funny that, at that point it had been 5 or 6 years since I last saw him. But it got me thinking about him again. Wondering what ever happened. I don't think I had thought about him in years!

July 2001 - Went home for the 4th. On a whim, I opened the phone book, and for the first time ever I saw his name and address. Being oh so mature, I did a drive by. Almost went and knocked on the door, but was afraid his wife, Squeek, would answer the door. I chickened out.

August 2001 - Got apartment in DC. Sent an email to some high school friends (including his brother) with new contact info in DC.

Sept 8, 2001 - Two days before starting my new job, was visiting a friend in Colorado and checked my email. Dropped my diet coke on the ground when I saw Kyle's name in my in-box. Well, turns out Squeek was not, nor ever was, his wife.

Sept 10, 2001 - Started new job in DC

Sept 11, 2001 - well, we all know. Welcome to DC, Hope.

Sept 30, 2001 - we got around to having our first date. At Ireland's Four Provinces in Cleveland Park.

Yes, I'm glossing over some unplesant bits of the more recent story. But you all want to hear a love story, right?

Then again, I've been typing for 30 minutes so now I am glossing over the rest of the romatic story. I'll just sum it up by saying he is everything I have ever wanted and more!

And the best part of the story...
Sept 18, 2004 - He proposed and made me the happiest woman in the world. :-) Only to be surpased October 23, 2005.

I can't wait baby! Our story is only going to get better!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

What a wonderful weekend

It was just nice and relaxing :) We need more of those.

Although, we did do a few things.

Friday - Slug hunting. A friend wanted to feed slugs to her turles, so about 10pm we were chatting on IM and I mentioned stepping over 2 on the way in. She stopped responding on IM. 10 minutes later, the doorbell rings and she is there with a slug container in hand. We collected almost 20 slugs. For those who aren't away, I live in a townhouse. My yard is 15x20' on either side of the house. 20 slugs!

Saturday - We tried to cook a ham. Unfortunatly, Kyle told me it was a pork shoulder. He said to cook it like a pork shoulder. We had a slight delay due to running out of propane and switching to charcoal. But I treated that hunk of meat just like a pork shoulder. 7 hours later, he mentioned it was a smoked ham and the package said to boil it. What?! Yup, it was a good ol' country ham. I explained that there is a reason you boil it. He didn't understand until he tried to eat it and puckered from the salt. I can cook pig, but I must first know the correct type of pig part to be cooked. We ordered pizza.

Sunday - lazy morning. Then we took our bikes out. Rode about 6 miles of the Mt Vernon Trail out on the Potomac. Then we went up to Old Town and road our bikes around there. The sweat and heat must have gotten to me, I turned down Ben & Jerrys. Maybe it was the large amount of Popeye's from out picnic. But still.. no ben & jerrys?!?!?

On the wedding front, we have finally fallen in LOVE with a BBQ resturant. After 7 months of looking for a caterer, liking everything, but not LOVING anything. Its offical. We want Rockland's Now I just need to get off my ass and call them.

My blog is so boring... I need a new theme or something. Too much wedding stuff and it ruins the surprise. Too much cancer stuff and I forget to move on with life. Thats one thing I don't want to dwell on.

But, since I am babbling, I'm pretty sure that cancer is responsible for my new attitude on life. I stress a whole hell of a lot less than I did a year ago. I guess its realizing what are things to stress over. Cancer: stress over it. House burning down: go head and stress. Pork shoulder really being a country ham = don't stress, Viva Pizza is a phone call away.

Monday, May 09, 2005

A weekend in the country

We spent the weekend down in southwest Virginia. It was nice. I love small towns, acreage, lack of traffic, thank-you waves, and all the stuff rural life is made of. So does Kyle. This means that most of the drive (all 10 friggin hours of it!) consisted of us mapping out our hypothetical small town life. The one where we have a big house in the country with the huge garden out back. The one where his truck has much company on the roads, and people appriciate the big truck for what it can go - not flip it off and complain about its gas milage and how impractical it is for city life. This life somehow includes hypotheical well-paying jobs. As long as you are dreaming of a hypothetical rural life, you can toss in the hypotical well paying job.

Then we came back home to our 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath, 943 sq ft house with a lot that measures, according to the survey, 1163 sq ft. And we get up at 6am, make our 30 mile commute (b/c if we lived closer, we would have 400 sq ft and no lot), get stuck in a beltway delay that has no real cause, tune the radio to WTOP to listen to Bob or Lisa (b/c, when you depend on them every 10 minutes, you feel like you are on a first name basis) explain that there are delays on the beltway and there is no real reason - or maybe there was a reason 2 hours ago, but its gone, and so people are just still slowing down for no reason. And we get home by 6pm, and wistfully sigh for that 3200 sq ft home on 6 acres with the 4 car garage less than 10 minutes from the lake - all for the same price as my latest appriasal.

And on that note, the clock says 12:30. My lunch break is over. Back to reviewing a literature review.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Mother's Day

[I decided to remove this. I kept a draft for my later use, but since my blog turns up in google, I'm not sure I want that out there]

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Bugsy wants to say

"And just why should I NOT be here?"


On another note, I've got these wigs I want rid of. They are sitting on a shelf, not doing anything. I bought them thinking they would be useful, then decided I wouldn't lose my hair. Of course I did. But I ended up going with hats. Just never could transition to the wigs. I thought about keeping them around, just in case. But I think if I had a just in case need, I'd want hats again. So all you cancer babes reading, do you need some? Or know someone who doesn't have money or insurance? Or know of an organization that would take them and give them to other cancer babes who need them? I have the cleaning stuff, and a wig form too. Drop me a comment or an email. hmmm... I have avoided posting my email addy to avoid spam bots... [thenameofmyblog]@gmail.com Anyway with net saavy can figure that out, the email snatching spambots probably can't.

Just did a 5 mile bike ride. I want to do more, but just can't. I want to go ride during the week, but after leaving at 6:20am for work, then getting home at 6pm - I just don't have the energy. Plus if I eat something, I can't even get out until close to 7. And then if I am exercising til 8, I can't get to sleep at 10. Its a vicious cycle that makes me fat!

I have no more useful random thoughts today.