Thursday, October 07, 2004

I bet you thought I forgot about you!

Nope, just not in a blogging mood lately.

Had chemo #8 today. I think it was 8... yeah, 8. I lost track. Physically I am doing great, just as always. No big problems, and since its just then evening of chemo, I'm still hopped up on the decadron (streiod) enough that I'm almost hyper. Mentally its all starting to get to me. I know, I know... its just hair - it will grown back. But, its still hard to deal with. I think seeing myself in the mirror is part of what is bothering me. I look so pityful and sick. Its gotten a lot worse in the past few weeks. No, you can't see it. Only Kyle and my neighbor get to (and she only gets to b/c she poked her head over the fence one night and I didn't have time to hide. We generally have a Mr. Wilson relations - like on Home Improvement). Anyway, yes, it will grow back. And I know all you bald guys like to remind me of that. But, I bet you didn't loose it all in under 3 months! And you are a girl!!

So in other news, Kyle and I are in complete sticker shock on weddings. The average wedding in the DC area is $27k. Even if I could afford to, my frugal (cheap!) self wouldn't be able to do that. So, I am searching hi and lo for the perfect place that fits my cheap ass self :) But, it will likely be next fall. For a brief moment I contemplated something next spring - soley so I would only spend 6 months obsessing as opposed to 12. But, fall won out because a) I always wanted an October wedding, b) Kyle likes fall best too and c) I might have some hair by then. Not that I am vain or anything, but if I am going to have pictures to show to the grandneices and newphews, I don't want to be bald!

Yes, the hair thing is quite traumatic. Trust me, its not just me. Do some research on patient expierences - especially women. The hair thing is bad!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Little girl you are totally correct. I am a man and tend to let testosterone affect my brain from time to time. I have lost my hair(most of it) not in 3months or 3 years. I have no idea how it would really feel to have to deal with all that you are dealing with-hodgkins-chemo cycles-fighting for life-Kyle-engagements-work-future-wedding plans-blogs-your own mind games-hair loss-etc-etc. For this I am sorry that I can not really put myself in your place and feel what you really are feeling,however; the only thing that I can come close to offering is the same thing that so many others are trying to offer as well-our love and support. For those of us that do love you, we are trying to experience your experiences through you so that we can find some solace in ourselves and be able to try to be strong for you. We will overcome our inadequacies. Please be patient with us. See ya! "macho" hicup

6:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's so good to have an update from you, but I'm so sad that you are having to experience all this physical trauma. Nevertheless, your wonderful spirit and sense of humor always shine through every Blog entry. You are in our thoughts and hearts every single day, and we wish we could help you through this. Know that you are loved very much!! BB

8:46 AM  
Blogger Naturegrrl said...

october weddings are the best! just not the 31st ok?

don't be afraid to cut corners wherever you can. we spent next to no money on our wedding- less than $100. we had it in church so the place cost nothing. i borrowed a dress from my mom, wedding rings were silver, we called our guests instead of sending engraved invitations, our family took the pictures, and my parents paid for a small reception at a restaurant.
and we have great memories! no regrets at all. :)
the amount of money you spend on your wedding has no bearing on how long you'll stay together.

10:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Naturegrrl is right!
What about a wedding `au bord du lac´? We would all pitch in. Also for the lodging of all the invitees. Everybody is just a phone-call away.
Hey, you could sell your choice to Sprint PCS / Mastercard or competitors: "Stop worrying about getting your cards printed on time and save ... with 3 cts. a minute we guarantee you a very personal invitation" or.... "printed golden-rimmed wedding invitations: $500, one-day castle rent: $ 10,000; saying `yes´ to each other surrounded by nature, dearest ones, and the reflection of the lake... priceless!"
October and fall is a fine choice. And you are right about good-hair wedding pictures!
Sorry the mirror is not nice to you... can´t you hang a picture over it?
Always thinking of you, Chatelaine du Lac

11:04 PM  

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